13 Comments

Bloggers are not aliens..(an experience on Expat Woman Forum)

                                                                             A Judgemental Society

As a newbie in Dubai, around two months ago I was so desperate to make friends just like any other person would be when moving to a new place, especially after leaving behind a bunch of  really good friends home.  But as a housewife with two very young kids, it wasn’t and isn’t possible for me to go out and look for a job,as would be prefered by many, to find new friends. So again, just like most of us would do, I befriended the internet first and created a blog which is especially to get connected with moms in Dubai. All the bloggers would agree to this that making friends through blog would be a very slow process since I myself already had the experience of blogging before. Then I thought of joining different forums and the first thing I would do is promote my blog there so I’d be able to be in touch with moms in one place.

Of all the forums I joined, Expatwoman was my favourite though they had this strict rule of not allowing anyone to post any kind of link on their forums. I came to know about it after I posted my link for the first time and was deleted and never even tried to post anything as such again. So my second thread post about “turning 30” went really well where everyone encouraged me and participated in the discussions regarding my concerns of gettng old. Though never intended, but the thread did give me inspiration for my next blog post and I’m sure I even mentioned that to them I’ll be  quoting them in my next blog, and so did I , with their original usernames they used at that time.

From time to time , I kept posting threads related to just about anything that went on in my mind, like kids’ school, shampoo to use, lotion for kids etc etc. Just recently myself and some of the EW ladies were in the middle of a “shopping” discussion when the subject of “my blog” was raised , telling me …yes may I repeat, telling me not even asking me, that I post all thoses threads just so I can promote my blog to be able to earn money. I don’t blame them, since I know that there are many bloggers whose source of income are their blogs, do practice that on forums, which in my opinion is okay as it won’t harm anyone. Anyone would do anythng to keep their job of course.  This is how blogs work actually. We visit each other’s blog, comment, get a comment back, visit forums, post our link , etc etc.  So EW having this strict rules have their reasons to be.

Before anything I would make it clear that I see myself earning through my blogs someday, but maybe after 10 years, I think any honest blogger would admit that. 

 I made my first blog with the intention of giving relevant facts about education and teachers since that is my field and I think I’m quite successful with what I aimed with my first blog and am able to help many as well.

Going back to EW forum experience, everything went well and everyone participated in discussions and answered my questions that I would ask my sister or friend if I have one here, when in the middle of one fun discussion an issue was raised. What the admin did was , delete my account, just because someone came with the accusations of me generating income through my links which I even didn’t post there since ages. I didn’t even receive an email from the admin as to why it is deleted or from any users there asking my side of the story and instead they continued the discussion with a thread of my name ( feeling like a star already) and gave their opinions on whatever they can think of , copy pasting my previous posts, my facebook status, and even a part of my blog post where I quoted some of their forum co-users and above all they took the burden of sparing sometime to look for me on other forums. I was wondering how our society, in this very modern time, be so judgemental? I was shocked to see how my posts were exploited. Well honestly speaking am still in a shock as they all seemed really nice and broad-minded. But my experience with them tells and shows how someone could  just judge anyone, create their own assumptions and of course have so much time in the world to go through every thread they see in the forum, barge in and boom….release their insecurities. Even those so-called friends who added me on facebook “unfriended” me or “blocked” me after what happened. Strange but true.

Well whatever happened was a blessing in disguise because though not intended , I got the highest traffic to my blog yesterday 🙂

Let me tell everyone here that bloggers are also humans and should not be treated as aliens. So what if they come to the forums for ideas or post their links? They aren’t asking you money or do you any harm. I also welcomed links coming my way, commented and gave my opinion and I’m still here and not ruined. There are different bloggers, those who post for money and those who post for fun and just to interact with like-minded people and there is no harm in being either of the two. But for a blogger , the feedback and comments for their posts means a lot and is always welcomed.

The issue raised here by me is between a blogger and bunch of people I’d call anti-blogger, at least that’s what I would call them now after their comments. When you think you can judge so well, make sure you are following the process of “how to judge” just the way the judges do in courts 🙂

Writing doesn’t require talent, what it requires are guts to put your thoughts right in front of people gracefully. If you think you can do that, I dare you to do so.

Good Luck!

Let’s connect on facebook.

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13 comments on “Bloggers are not aliens..(an experience on Expat Woman Forum)

  1. So this is what you did then? You posted random questions on a forum…tried to promote your blog a couple of times… Took people’s feedback from the forum and put it on your own blog… So basically using a website and the service it provides to pad out your own blog’s content… you didn’t even link to your source. The women on their are very helpful but don’t like to be taken advantage of- which is precisely what you did. You say you had high traffic to your blog because of it… Just goes to show the power of that website and that you shouldn’t have abused the trust of its readers. It is comical how you then didn’t like yourself being discussed… As that is how the women you quoted on your blog must have felt as well.

    You should read the rules of the website and then you would understand the reasons your username was banned and also the trust you broke.

    • Thanks for your comments. Your reply to my post just proved everthing that I’ve been saying about being judgmental
      1. As mentioned in my above post, I never tried to promote my link more than once after my thread related to that was deleted and after knowing the rules.
      2. As mentioned in my above post, the random questions I posted on EW Forum wasn’t at all related to my blog. Those were “genuine” questions.
      3. I’m maintaining a total blogs of four at the moment , so I’ve got enough ideas for myself.
      4. Please be specific when you say I’ve taken advantage. If you think seeking advice from ladies about which shampoo leaves good fragrance on my head, then I admit I took advantage. If you say that asking about recommendations for schools for my child is taking advantage , then again I admit I took advantage, if you say that asking for a best place to shop where there are great sales is taking advantage then I admit I did. But my question again is “HOW” ? Please do tell me how these threads helped my blog , if you can point out places in my blog where I included the information given to me by the ladies regarding the shampoo and all, you are most welcome.
      5.Regarding quoting some ladies there for my blog “Turning 30”, I just quoted them and I believe thoses won’t bring any harm to them at all. And if you insist that it is offensive for them , then I’m sorry for taking their “real Identity” into “public”.
      6. I started this blog two months ago and just got the highest traffic on the same day when the ladies were busy digging in to “my stuff” making me a kind of celebrity. Traffic from December 1 till today, is really good. But may I remind you, I was on EW for quite sometime already and had I used that website to promote my blog, I would have had really good traffic for the past two months.
      7. Regarding me being banned on EW, I really don’t mind that. I don’t want to be part of that “society” when they can talk about their lost dogs, visa, shopping et etc and when it comes to my turn , all they say is “she is promoting her link”,even though I wasn’t. The reason behind this is beacause I write blogs!
      Had I not been writing blogs, all my questions on that forum would have been considered genuine.

    • Never judge others, you haven’t walked in their shoes. Sure, following that will give some peace to your mind. Nobody is here on this earth forever… it’s only for a short time & better use this short time to do something useful other than looking into others lives & complaining like a super awesome human being.

    • Never judge others, you haven’t walked in their shoes. Sure, following that will give some peace to your mind. Nobody is here on this earth forever… it’s only for a short time & better use this short time to do something useful other than looking into others lives & complaining like a super awesome human being.

  2. You still appear to miss the main point, which is that you copied replies on another forum and used them on your blog, claiming they are those of your ‘friends’.

    Plenty of EW users have blogs, we just keep them separate from EW.

    You said “I don’t want to be part of that “society” when they can talk about their lost dogs, visa, shopping et etc”…………………so if you don’t want to be a part of it, why on earth are you harping on and on about it? Leave it in the past and move on.

    There are plenty of UAE forums out there, I am sure you will find one that suits you.

    • Very true. I am part of many forums not just in the U.A.E so it’s not really a big deal if I loose one.
      May I remind you that it’s not me “harping” about it, it’s you guys because it’s been you guys who keep on going through my pages and blogs since that day. And getting 2 comments today is a proof to it. I have many places where I can “whine” on the incident like what the respected ladies on EW did and are doing but I don’t need to do such a thing as it is not a big deal at all for me. It’s just one forum among the others.
      Thanks for the comment.

  3. Don’t let people get to you. It’s far to easy to insult and harass hidden behind a keyboard. I would like to point out that forums are public. If people don’t want their words and identities out in public, perhaps they should not place them there to begin with.

    Just saying.

  4. Yes forums are public but they are not supposed to be used as fodder for blogs and then the words used as though they are from friends of the writer of the blog…which is what happened here.

    At least 2 or 3 of the blog posts here originated as posts or were put on as posts on that forum… people have a right to be offended if their words are then used somewhere else out of context…they think they are genuinely helping someone… not providing quotes for someone else’s blog.

    Just as the owner of this blog is not happy with what happened to her there.

    She has turned round now and critiscised that “society” for the reaction she got- on here and on Facebook… whereas she was quite happy using them as source material before that.

    As the other comment said lots of people do have blogs and use that forum but they tend not to mix the two together or use the forum for blog fodder.There is a history of newspapers quoting from that forum too and the ladies were not happy about that either…they see it as shoddy journalism… but as you say public domain- it’s just not polite or good etiquette really.

    It’s not the end of the world either 🙂

  5. @Victoria and others: For the sake of lord, get a life.

    Please stop poking your nose in an a** that you wouldn’t like to smell. The poster, has had an experience on the EW, and then realized that similar thing is going on in the society that we live in.

    Please think twice before you impose your observations. The poster did not intend to “censure”, rather an experience shared, that is mapped to the society in general.

    Please know, to be able to fix something, you need to understand that something is wrong. 2 Wrongs does not make 1 right.

    I agree with @Miss Demure Restraint, “If people don’t want their words and identities out in public, perhaps they should not place them there to begin with.

    Just saying.” – Note that, not just saying, I meant it.

    Thanks everyone for reading this.

  6. ExpatWoman forum is full with more decent and helpful ladies though, few members of it are there who always spend time for nothing else; just to criticize others and showing off their fantasy lives. Those just can’t stand on disagreements of their opinions and shatter in front any of those.They claim there’re from the first world; often England, France and Australia and doing their best to insult members from the third world countries (their word for some countries with developing economies). By act on this way they not only showing their filthy mind, they damage the name of their motherlands irreparably. Shame on them!

    • I totally agree with you on that. There definitely are decent ladies there and surprisingly the “first world” ladies were the ones who acted “not so good” And i was having some really awesome time with lovely ladies that day when this happened.Until now they are all around my blogs giving horrible comments. But that’s the way they are. And seeing you.here truly shows there are decent ladies in that forum 🙂

  7. Just wanted to add, some of those EW members who welcome only Queen’s English have forgotten that major population of the world use Global English which is can be easily understood by people whose native language is not English.

Your words are highly appreciated ;)

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